Poison.

Ill try Diary style on for fun.
Maybe.
Hmm...
Where to start?
I liked the video clip.
Hilarious.

A good a start as any I spose.
I hate "blogging" when I have so much to say.
It risks alot.
It not coming out the way I want it to.
Yet, Im not sure...exactly.


Question.
Nevermind.
I think Im more in a ranting mood.

I hate women.
Dont get me wrong,
I hate all of man kind.
But women...
...women are probably the most disgusting.
They lure him,
Make him love you,
Love him,
and then break it off like it was nothing in the first place.

Although, I cannot give them full credit for the failure of the human race.
Men are perdy bad too.
I hate it when I see some guy hideously wrapped up in one girl.
Love is great,
but there is no such things as "love at first sight," n such.
His brain stops working and they make whole life decisions based on her.
The woman though, they love it.
Bath in it.
I mean its attention right?
Eventually though,
theyll get bored.
Its what happens.
Girls with "it,"
tend to be flighty.

Hitting more at home,
I have viciously fought my main womanly problem.
Not that I blame all my unhappiness on being a woman.
Its more of a choice.
You have instincts...
for lack of a better word...
Its when and how you choose to deal with them
can can decide just what kind of woman that youll be.
My biggest problem happens to be...
Hmm...
Something like Experience.
But not really.
I have a vision of how I want my life to be.
I know that it will happen nothing like I want it to.
But hey,
I can wish cant I?
I want evrything all the the same time.
If I could make 3 million of me,
or live about 3 million lives.
That would be amazing.
I want to live in every life experience that there is.
I want to be the wind,
to live the winds life for a thousand years.
To...
Live as a whale...
a tree..
More at home...
I want to be with him.
To experience everything I can with that person,
to make him the happiest he could ever be.
I could aslo make that guy over there the happiest.
Or, that guys girlfriend is horrible.
Shes such a woman.
I could transform myself into that exact person the I know he needs.
Its disgusting.
Believe me I know.

Ive had one major problem lately,
my newest project.
"The relationship that was never finished."
Goal:
To figure him out,
just what makes him tick,
and make myself into the woman that he needs,
the woman that he wants.
Fix his insecurities and show him just how amazing he can be.
Then let him go,
to find the true woman that he was meant to be with.
I am for no one.
I am no one.
I am what you want me to be.
I was born in the wrong era.
In another life, I was a a peasant during King Arthurs reign.

Ugh..
The problem.
The major one,
of a million I should say.
I fell in love.
The person that he wanted me to be,
was who I was.
Who I am.
I cant have this.
I am not ready for this.
I still need to live a partiers life,
and to be solely dependant on no one but,
me.
Love and marriage is for the future.
When I can afford it.
How can I make a man happy when I myself cannot be?
I spose that no one can understand.
I have to be me,
before there is ever an us.
But..
there is an us,
whether I like it or not.
I love him.
This instance is only part of it.
There is so much more to this story that I cannot say.
I do not believe in fairy book endings.
Or that movies can be played out in everyday life.

Without these things,
you cannot have a relationship at all.
Trust.
True happiness. (HA!)
Honesty.
But most of all.
Compatibility.

God bless EHarmony fags.

Oh how I love you,
but we cannot be.
No worries, my love.
There are plenty of fish in the sea.
One day,
someday,
you will forgive me.